I'm currently trying to finish reading a book that was due back at the library yesterday. As it is, my stomach is in knots and I'm anxious and a little jumpy. You don't think the library sends enforcers out to collect, do you?
I know, I know. I come off as cool and collected, unconcerned by the world and unaffected by the rules that regulate it. But that's really not me. I'm all about conformity. I've never been pulled over by a cop and I've never gotten a parking ticket. I obey the crosswalk signals and I always use my turn signal. I pay my taxes on time and I even report my large out-of-state purchases when I file. I respect "no trespassing" and "do not enter" signs. I licensed my dog and kept her vaccines up-to-date (notice the past tense.) Every time we've moved I've licensed and registered our cars within the ridiculously short time period required by law. When I was a kid I even licensed my bike with the city. Nauseating, isn't it?
But it doesn't end there. I always pay my bills on time and balance my checkbook to the penny. I vote in every election and return my absentee ballot as soon as I've filled it out. I'll even have Nate's ready to sign and return . . . how does he put up with me? I have a separate bin for recyclables and a third for redeemable beverage containers. I even accurately report my height and weight whenever requested on an official document, no matter how painful it may be.
I'm guess I'm just too much of a chicken to rock the boat with action or inaction. Now my mouth is a whole 'nother story. I'm always ready to voice my opinion and make a complaint about the idiocy, inefficiency, and hypocrisy of business and government. My soapbox is always overturned and ready to be stood on. I guess that makes me a windbag . . .
Oh well, in the classic words of Popeye, "I yam what I yam." And now I need to quit writing and get this book read. Every tick of the multitude of clocks in my house sound more and more like a time bomb. After all, come 11pm my anxiety level will rise and I'll owe another 25 cents towards my library fine.