Missing . . .

My life is a little less funny now.

Pudd'nhead Nathan has been removed from the blogosphere.

I don't know you, Pudd'nhead. Finding your blog was serendipitous. I took for granted that it would always be available for poignant thoughts, intellectual musings, and the occasional mindless entertainment. But it's gone now. And I miss it.

Where are you, Pudd'nhead?

Please come back soon.

Can't say no . . .

I tried.

I really did.

I wasn't looking for an opportunity to serve my school community. In this school district just increasing the student population is service enough. Enrollment has dropped by 2200+ students in the last three years alone. That, along with a projected budget shortfall of $13 million, has brought about the scheduled closing of 2 local elementary schools.

My Things' school isn't closing. It was originally on the short list for consideration, but was left off the short-short list.

Yay for us! I love our school. It's only 9 houses away and Things 1 & 2 walk most days. The convenience is huge - not to mention the stellar test scores, the engaging teachers, and the active PTA.

And that last one would be my problem.

For the past couple years I've served as Auditor on the PTA board. I took the job as a favor to a friend that moved unexpectedly - a friend who felt some strange moral obligation to find a replacement for her elected position. But now my 2 years are quickly coming to an end - and 2 consecutive years are all you are allowed to serve in any given position. Yay for me!

Unfortunately for me, however, the tenure of the Treasurer is also coming to an end.

A week ago a woman from the 2009/10 PTA board nominating committee called to ask if I would take the position next year. I declined - packing two little kids to the two-a-month early afternoon meetings is a complication I don't want to deal with.

But then I made a fatal mistake.

I told the woman I would consider taking the position if, and only if, they couldn't find anyone else to do it.

I guess that sealed my fate. Why, why, why, why . . . why can't I just say no and leave it at that?

Thanks to my inner-sucker, as of this morning I have officially been guilted into functioning as next year's PTA Treasurer.

Monster Monkey

Uh oh.

See Jack? I told you the cabinet doors weren't strong enough to swing on. (Notice the door DIDN'T break off at the hinges?)

Big-mouthed monsters

This morning I schlepped the 3 youngest Things with me to the mechanic for a long overdue oil change. I love my car doctor - he gives regular customers 4 free oil changes a year.

I guess it's a preventative care philosophy applied automotively. Makes sense - he builds a relationship of trust through my frequent (or not) visits so when problems arise he'll be the first one I call.

Regardless, it means I no longer look for (or take advantage of) free or discounted oil change coupons. And unfortunately, that means I am failing in my responsibility to regularly maintain my vehicle.

But that's not the point of this post. Here's the point . . .

While at the car doctor/mechanic Thing 2 wanted a drink of water. Not a drink from the water bottle I brought with us, but rather a drink from the water cooler in the corner with those hard-to-resist red and blue release levers.

Unfortunately the only cups available were styrofoam coffee cups. I told Jack he couldn't get a drink because I didn't want him to use a coffee cup - not because I cared that it was a cup meant for coffee but rather because it was easier than telling him I didn't want him messing with the water cooler levers. That reasoning would've worked only to incite an argument. And a mess.

My easy-out came back to bite me in a matter of minutes.

The proprietor walked into the waiting room and proceeded to pour himself a cup of coffee. Jack looked up from his coloring book and bluntly spoke, "Heavenly Father says no coffee."

Needless to say I was mortified.

Geoff (the car Dr.) didn't quite understand Thing 2's comment (likely because of poor enunciation) and replied, "What was that?".

I told Jack to hush.

Geoff said, "No, that's OK. He can tell me."

So again Jack said, "Heavenly Father says no coffee."

Geoff looked at me, a little puzzled. I wasn't sure how to respond - it's not like this guy was looking for an explanation of our doctrinal beliefs when he started jonesing for his morning jolt.

But Thing 2 had to open his big-mouth. And now I was in a very uncomfortable situation.

My solution? Diffuse and ignore - I told Jack to mind his own business.

Jack responded, "But coffee makes it hard to sleep."

Geoff laughed and replied, "But I'm trying not to sleep this morning."

At that point Jack went back to coloring and Geoff went back to mechanic-ing.

Ugh! Aghhhhh!

It's not like I want my kids to silence their thoughts and concerns just because we're in public - most times I just wish I could run their comments through my own filter before they come out of their mouths. Other recent uncomfortable comments:

• Yesterday Thing 3 told a Costco sample lady that she was really old. Luckily the lady was not only old, but quite possibly deaf. Or maybe she's just learned to ignore little girls (with good reason.)


• Also yesterday, when Thing 1 was asked if our family would like some cinnamon rolls she responded with, "My mom makes the best cinnamon rolls in the world." The result? No scrumptious gift of sugar.


• Later this morning Thing 2 told the checkout lady that his big sister hates OfficeMax (apparently the OfficeMax branded pencils refuse to sharpen properly - I've been instructed to never buy them again.) My only saving grace? We were at Office Depot. The checkout lady responded with, "Your children are adorable."
  

I wonder if she'd think they were adorable if I slapped big pieces of duct tape over their mouths every time we left the house.

February 23, 2004

I was published for the first and only time. In honor of the anniversary of that momentous occasion, an edited reprint:

I thought it would be easy to move from a 2000 sf house into an “itsy-bitsy-teeny-weeny-yellow-polka-dot” two-bedroom Soldiers Field Park (SFP) apartment. Ok, so maybe it wasn’t bikini cute (or even polka-dotted), but I figured I could tough it out for two years.

Really, what’s sacrificing a little space when the alternative was spending $700 more for a third bedroom? With that kind of money I could buy 10 new pairs of shoes, or host a slamming Girls’ Night, or spend a weekend in Paris – and not just once, but every month!

After all, I was being realistic. I just kept telling myself that my kids are young and don’t require much space. And we’d spend most of our time outside, anyway.

I don’t know what psycho, rose-colored glass world I was trying to live in.

Addy (age 4) and Jack (age 1) can’t sleep in the same room. Addy coughs, Jack wakes up and cries, Addy wakes up and yells, Nate (NA) wakes up and gets mad, and I try to smother myself with a pillow.

After a few nights, Addy started sleeping in my bed and I resigned myself to the couch. Don’t get me wrong - it’s a comfy couch . . . but I like my bed better.

So now no one was sleeping well (except maybe the kids, but at this minute they don’t count.) And you know the saying, “If Mom ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.” That became my new reality.

I was tired of seeing my living room covered in toys and my kitchen sink full of dishes (that’s right, my teeny-weeny apartment was too small for a dishwasher.)

I was tired of Jack climbing from the radiator to the couch to the desk across the computer keyboard to get to the phone (he’s a fan of 10-10-321.)

I was tired of Addy harvesting junk mail from the desk garbage can for coloring media (what kind of mother lets her kid play with trash?)

I was tired of having to unload half of my front closet to get to the vacuum, or the toy shelf, or the laundry detergent, or my winter coat, or a fresh jar of spaghetti sauce, or a stroller (really, all that stuff, and more, fit into my front closet – it’s called “creative space-saving”).

I was tired of the walls closing in on me after an eternity of sub-freezing temperatures.

Frankly, I was just tired.

I needed to be back in my own bed, and I didn’t feel like roughing it anymore. I didn’t even care about the extra $700 a month anymore (and that’s saying a ton, as anyone who knows me will attest.)

So I called the HRES Future & Immediate Housing listing. As luck would have it, there were a number of three bedroom units available – two in SFP and two in One Western Avenue (OWA).

We toured each apartment and measured the layouts (and closet rod space).

Apartment 3A in SFP was a townhouse style unit. I swear it was bigger than my three bedroom with full basement and ½ acre fenced yard-place in Pennsylvania (it’s amazing what tight quarters do to your space perception, even after only a couple months.) And by golly, it even had a dining room. I started dreaming about hosting one of those Section A small group dinner parties.

I could overlook having to travel with my laundry to another building, and having to venture outside in sub-zero weather to get to the parking garage. And I could overlook all the stairs.

Wait, no I couldn’t.

Jack may be rough and tumble, but after our Halloween day visit to the ER for a nasty fall off my four foot high bed (again, “creative space-saving” at work), I wasn’t going to take a chance.

Which meant that unit 9A in SFP was also out.

We also immediately eliminated #136 in OWA – it was only about 200 square feet bigger than our two bedroom SFP place, and it faced busy Western Ave on the ground floor. It didn’t have elevator access to the soon-to-be-finished (wishful thinking at the time) parking garage, AND you had to leave the building to get to the mailroom and the laundry room. AND . . . it cost the same as all the other (bigger and better) three bedroom units at OWA.

Sounds like a real winner, huh? I didn’t have to wonder why that unit was still empty.

Now we were left with only one viable alternative - a unit in the OWA tower.


(I’m not going to disclose the apartment number, because anyone with deductive reasoning skills would know that it’s where I now live. And let’s face it folks, I have a 1 year-old and a 4 year-old, so I really don’t need another stalker.)

I will admit I was a little put off by the architecture. If this is what form came up with, I really think function should have won out. (I doubt I was the first to question OWA. I mean it’s weird looking, has a weird layout, and does anyone else think it’s weird to reserve the top three floors for mechanical space? Can a heating unit really appreciate the view?)

But the swipe card granted us entry to the building without having to “do a little dance, make a little love, get down tonight” as I was used to doing with the SFP door key.

The elevator came when it was called and asked how high on the way up. And when the apartment door opened we entered our own little nirvana. After all, this place had 320 inches of closet rod - a 60% increase over our old place (I may not be an HBS student, but yeah, I can do the math.)

The apartment had a dishwasher and overhead lighting in the bedrooms, and central A/C, and thermostats, and solid-surface countertops, and two super-huge, what-the-heck-am-I-going-to-do-with-all-this-space bathrooms! Who could ask for anything more? (Maybe a new Toyota? 2004 Sienna, preferably.)

Nate drew our floor plan and cut out miniature pieces of paper furniture to make sure everything would fit just right. (Yeah he’s a little “detail oriented”. But if he didn’t do it I would have. And he’s better with the graph paper.)

So to make a long story short (or is it too late for that?), we said, “oh yes, yes, yes” and, “thank you very much” and moved into our new place on the last day of finals.

So now I’m enjoying this Boston winter (can anyone really do that?) in the warmth and space (and at one point, flooding – but that’s another story) of my fabulously expensive OWA apartment.

Addy has her own bedroom, and Jack has his own bathroom, my desk phone and garbage have their own office, and I have my own bed back.

Our days are filled with “short-cuts” to the mailroom (up the elevator to the 6th floor, across the bridge, down the elevator to the 2nd floor, through the court, down the elevator to the lobby, and into the mailroom) where we have a super-sized mailbox (meaning fewer trips to the Spangler post office, which isn’t open on Saturdays, for packages that didn’t quite fit), and doing laundry where the hour-long dryer cycle is only 56 minutes.

So what if my bedroom door is too thick for my over-the-door shoe rack, and so what if I have to venture out at 7 am every Sunday to find my Boston Globe because the carrier leaves it in some obscure lobby that only a handful of people ever enter (I suppose s/he is as confused by the architecture as I am?)

And it isn’t too much of a bother that the fire alarms are hypersensitive and over active.

And who really needs more than one phone jack per line? (No one ever talks on the phone in the living room, so I’m glad they saved on installing a jack there.)

What it all comes down to is this:

Mom’s happy again. (At least until I have to look at the CitiAssist Loan balances.)

And yes, Section A, I’d love to host a small group dinner, even without the dining room.

Now I'm always-on(line)

Cox Cable finally has its greedy little fingers in my pocketbook.

Lucky them.

Lucky me.

No more trips to the library. At least not for anything other than books.

Unfortunately it was prudent to give up DishNetwork and my AT&T landline to get the Cox bundle package pricing with free installation and a free cable modem. No biggie on the landline (a call's a call), but I'm seriously grieving my DishNetwork DVR.

Cox's digital cable and "PVR" sucks. Sorry for the strong language.

But it does.

I guess this first step is necessary if I'm eventually gonna wean myself off paid programming. See - I've admitted I have a problem. But that doesn't make the withdrawal symptoms any less painful.

I'm Yours . . .

I rather quite enjoy "I'm Yours" by Jason Mraz. The tune is catchy, the lyrics are generally up-lifting and singable ... really, what's not to like?

Well, there is one phrase that at first simply confused me. But now it bugs me. I'm sure before long it will really irritate me, although I hope not so much that I can no longer listen to the song without cringing.

"Listen to the music of the moment people, dance and sing

We're just one big family

And it's our God-forsaken right to be loved loved loved loved loved"

Anyone else find that third line to be a little odd? I'm not sure what JM was intending when he wrote that line - since when did God start forsaking your right to be loved? Maybe he meant it as a subtle dig at the religious right-wing, or maybe he just needs a vocabulary refresher.

Either way, I'm not impressed.

That's what friends' (husbands) are for

So today my car wouldn't start for the last time. The battery is dead.

Not just tired.

Dead.

But why would the battery on a car less than 4 years old be dead? Because I have Things, that's why. Things who like to turn on reading lights in the middle of the day. Things that can't remember to turn off said reading lights because they didn't need them on in the first place.

And my fancy-dancy mini-van with 16 cup-holders, 2 glove boxes, in-floor storage, fold-flat seats, tushie warmers, and a handy-dandy removable jump-seat (all graciously included in an ergonomic design for the comfort and convenience of moms everywhere) fails to incorporate any indicator that interior lights are left on when the car is turned off.

Sure - there's a beep-beep here if you leave your headlights on (handy when it's a drab day and you forgot you turned on the lights when you turned on the wipers, even though it's the law), and a beep-beep there if you leave your keys in the ignition (makes sense - you wouldn't want an unauthorized someone to drive away when you just stepped out of the car for a short moment - especially if that someone is a Thing), but there's no beep-beep to warn you that your car won't start the next time you try to leave the garage because your Things had an irresistible urge to push on the sparkly crystal/plastic reading light in the middle of the afternoon.

Kinda kills the comfort and convenience factor Honda was trying to sell with their re-designed mom-van.

But can't you just jump-start that battery? Why, yes Virginia, you can - and I did.

But then you need to devote an hour or so driving around (or sitting idle) to make sure the battery fully charges. Otherwise you just end up with a dead battery again.

And again.

And again.

Apparently I don't have an hour to devote. I guess I was just hoping the battery would magically repair itself without all that inconvenient car time.

But it didn't. And this morning I had a hair-cut appointment (it turned out very cute, thanks for asking.) But the car wouldn't start. And I was already late. We had to run - or at least Ellie did - I just walked fast and Sketch rode in the stroller. Very reminiscent of Boston living ... life on foot. But that only works when your destination is relatively close and/or your route doesn't require the use of the freeway. Luckily my fabulous new stylist lives just down the hill.

After school/nap time (the baby's, not mine) I planned to jump-start the car and head to Costco for a new battery. I had my wrench and my flashlight ready (by then it would be dark.) I loaded the Things into the car and hooked up my Black & Decker thingie.

I flipped the switch, waited a minute, then started the car.

Success!!

Well, yes - until my fried brain misdirected my impulse to open the garage door to prevent CO poisoning and accidentally instructed my hand to instead turn off the ignition.

Batteries really don't like that kind of psych-out. One false start and all hopes of making it to Costco were down the drain.

Did I mention Nate is in New York? And his car is in the SNA airport parking lot? And Thing 3 has her very first dance class early tomorrow morning?

Situations like this are precisely why friends have husbands. Thanks for sharing yours, Kimber. Watching Mike install the battery he bought and brought over only solidified the apprehensive vision I had of wrestling a heavy and uncooperative battery from the clutches of an unyielding engine cavity in the dark of a poorly lit Costco parking lot.

Thankfully no one had to witness (or act out) such a scene. Now my car starts when it's supposed to and the thingie I've been driving around with for the last week can be put back on the shelf in the garage.

And fear not, faithful readers. I've learned my lesson and have now permanently engaged the interior lights override switch. The Things can push on the sparkly crystal/plastic reading lights to their hearts' content and get absolutely no satisfaction.

I have no internet

I'm at the library right now, trying to accomplish on online to-do list while tuning out the 4 teenage boys engaged in car talk:

"The new Audi is way cooler than the new Infiniti."

and

"I don't want to buy an Acura because the parts are too expensive."

Whatever.

Shut up and study or the lousy job you end up with will mean the best car you can afford is the 7 year old Nissan Sentra with bald tires and a bad paint job that's currently in the Big Lots parking lot. And by then it will be 13 years old.

Sorry if I'm a little irritable. I miss my internet connection. And when I say "my" I mean the unsecured wireless signal called "linksys" that wafts into my bonus room. After 2 1/2 years it doesn't work anymore (my mom warned this day would come.) And, as a result, I've been spending much time at the library, and much time on the phone with Jeff, the Cox cable guy. Maybe when he puts together a attractive enough package I'll give in and pay for broadband.

Until then you can find me at the library. Along with all the teenage boys that don't have any girls to hang out with because they spend too much time talking about stupid cars they'll only ever look at in magazines.

I'll be the one wearing the "PITHY" necklace.

A Season for Dress Up

Whether at our Ward party or G&G Great's Christmas Eve soiree, my Things embraced every opportunity to don a pageantic disguise.

Thing 1 . . .

. . . as Mary . . .
. . . and an angel.

Thing 2 . . .

. . . as a shepard . . .

. . . and Joseph.

Thing 3 . . .

. . . as an angel.

Thing 4 . . .

. . . as sweaty Santa.

The latest portraits

My local JCPenney's Portrait Studio must be under new management. I've been 3 times in the last 2 months (only twice for my kids,) and each visit has been almost a pleasure. Enjoy the results . . .

Thing 4 is 6 months old (well, 7 months now, but the photos are a month old.) He enjoys drooling, playing with tags on stuffed animals, and sleeping erratically. He has yet to cut any teeth, he doesn't sit up unassisted, and he's stingy with his giggles.

MISSING: Thing 3

Fear not, only her photo is missing. It will be posted in late May, after being taken for her 4th birthday.

Thing 2 is 6 years old. He enjoys 1/2 day Kindergarten and walking/running home after school with(out) his big sister. He's an excellent toilet scrubber, bedmaker, and dinosaur tamer.

Thing 1 is now 9 years old. She enjoys hardbacks, paperbacks, and magazines. She would prefer for someone else to take piano lessons, unload the dishwasher as needed, and do her laundry.

And then she went to bed . . .

. . . or is that chair?

What is it with kids and sleep? Somehow they manage to rest regardless of the position they nod off in.

Case in point below. Thing 3 was tired of waiting for me to get off the phone with Nana so she put herself down for a nap.



Or is that stood herself up?

Time for cocoa

Things 1-3 wanted hot cocoa before bed. I think they got tired of waiting.

The newest Who

I say there's nothing wrong with dressing like a Dr. Suess character. As long as you still wear footed jammies, that is.

Coming off the sugar high

Need evidence that my pantry has significantly fewer treats than my in-laws'? Just walk in and feel the fine grains of white sugar crunch under your feet. 

Apparently one of my Things needed a fix so bad they went for the pure stuff. What's next? Intravenous high fructose corn syrup? My little addicts are in serious need of an intervention. 

I'm hoping a child-safe knob cover for the pantry door and mean-face threats of extreme punishment for any vermin/insect infestation is enough. Any other ideas?

See a penny, pick it up . . . oh, just shoot me instead!

Anytime I feel like my penny-pinching, bargain-hunting, coupon-cutting, deal-finding, sale-shopping, dollar-stretching neurosis is on the verge of controlling me I just link over to the newest blog on my frequent read list: 

 

moneysavingmethods.blogspot.com

Instant relief! And justification. And strong indication of all the progress I've made.

Oh, yes . . . I too used to keep track of all my coupon savings and survey/rebate earnings. Yes, I used to save every receipt for monthly bank/credit card statement reconciliation after conveniently recording every transaction on a detailed spreadsheet - I had a very complicated system, complete with highlighters and paperclips. And yes, I even tracked regular and sale prices at all the local stores so I knew a real bargain when I saw it - my Palm contained oh-so-much more than just my to-do list and friends & family contact information.

But then I got a life - a very, very busy life. One that demands time and attention devoted to Primary, PTA, and piano lessons, soccer and silver jewelry making (yes, I love creative use of alliteration), homework and housework, blogging and breastfeeding (lots and lots of time on that last one.) 

With no pause-button available, and only a finite 24 hours available in a single day, something had to give. 

Surprisingly enough my checking account hasn't imploded even though my register has been off by $1.50 the last 8 times I balanced it. And American Express hasn't started erroneously billing me for products and services I didn't purchase, even though it's been 15 months since I last matched my receipts to statement charges (as far as I know, anyway . . . what's that they say about ignorance?) Our accounts are solvent, our bills paid on time, our spending/saving habits healthy . . . isn't that enough? Doesn't my time saved = money earned?

Don't get me wrong - it's not like I ignore blatant money-saving opportunities or go on wild spending sprees. I still coupon stack with the best of them (love, love, love couponmom.com). I still check my receipts before I walk out of the store to make sure I wasn't overcharged (most of the time, anyway - just today I was overcharged $2.99/lb. for tomatoes - but as part of my new zen (aka, too-tired-to-care) attitude I decided to let it go.) And yes, I still spend many, many minutes (ok, hours) comparison shopping online. 

But now when it gets to be compulsive I stop by Carrie's site for a little perspective. It makes me feel much better when I am reminded that my need for all things discounted could be much worse.

The Joe I know

The last time I saw Lauren (my sister) and Joe (her husband) is when we were all in Hawaii for Christmas 2005.

Although Joe had been to Hawaii a couple times prior, he had yet to experience all things quintessentially local. A visit to Zippy's - restaurant and bakery extraordinary - was definitely in order.

Our lunch stop started out uneventfully enough. We ordered at the counter and found a small booth in which to sit and eat. Then, halfway through the meal Joe gets up, empty cup in hand, and leaves the table without a word. Moments later he returns with a full beverage and continues his meal.

I was confused. Very uncharacteristically of myself I had conserved my own drink because Zippy's didn't have a self-serve beverage fountain, nor did they offer free refills (yes, I'm that cheap.) Joe hadn't taken his wallet with him when he got up, so how did he end up with a full cup? Upon inquiry Joe explained he simply walked up to the girl at the counter and told her that he had paid for a cup of root beer, not a cup of ice. She promptly filled his cup and apologized for the inconvenience.

I've told that story more times than I can remember. I was so surprised by Joe's simple approach. While I would've sat at the table and whined (maybe only internally, maybe not) about the amount of ice displacing potential Diet Coke in my cup, Joe thought nothing of remedying the situation. How very logical, . . . and memorable - enough so that Courtney and I bought him an A&W t-shirt months later in commemoration of his stand-up performance.

And then again . . .

Earlier this week Joe and I made an emergency trip to Best Buy. He needed a new computer and had only a couple of hours before he boarded a plane for Arizona. The laptop that appealed to him was sold out, with only the display model available at an additional discount. It would come with no box and no manual. No big deal- all the computer info is available online and the box just ends up in the recycling bin. I would've been content to accept the situation as it was, but not Joe. Instead he turned it to his advantage by quickly asking the sales guy for a discount on a computer bag, since the laptop didn't come with a box. The sales guy obliged and Joe bought a laptop.

Once again Joe left me astounded and remembering that to get what you want, sometimes all you have to do is ask.

Back in the blog

My blog hiatus is finally over - I'm sure you are all thrilled.  Sorry to keep you in suspense.

We arrived back in California on the evening of New Year's Day. Lauren and Joe, and their daughter, Sidonie (3), arrived shortly after we did.  They're in process of moving from London to Prescott, AZ and decided to grace us with their presence while living in limbo.

Things 1-3 are so excited to have a cousin in the house.  Thing 4 is teething/fighting a cold and probably couldn't care less . . . poor kid. But as long as he gets his bananas, blankie, and a boob he should be just fine. 

We've spent the last week un-Christmas-ing the house (I've got at least another week of work to go) and getting back into a more typical routine.  School, piano lessons, kid chores, activity days, homework, grocery-ing, PTA, laundry, vacuuming, church . . . how did I ever think life would be less busy once the holidays were over?