Thanks to the dogs

I spend a lot of time on Facebook. Too much time. Especially when Nate's out of town. There's just something about almost-instant, paranonymous adult interaction (uh, I really don't intend for the description to make it sound like a questionable or otherwise inappropriate pastime - sorry.) Even if it's just a peek into the minute musings of people I haven't seen or talked to in years.

But then it's time to go to bed. Last night:

11:30 pm - the dogs next door started barking. While they aren't quiet dogs, barking at night is a little uncharacteristic. I wasn't too worried, however, because while their owner is in the midst of moving back in after a 9 month remodel, she still isn't spending the night.

Midnight - I intend on going to bed but get distracted by my new handheld GPS and have to attempt initialization.

12:30 am - I close the bathroom window after yelling at Dolly and Booker to stop barking. I would have used stronger language except I was worried the neighbors would hear me. And what kind of example would that be?

12:35 am - I turn on my sound machine and climb into bed.

12:40 am - I contemplate calling Nate to ask at what point it's OK to call the cops.

12:41 am - I decide I'm going to find the non-emergency police dispatch number and program it into my phone first thing in the morning.

12:43 am - I consider climbing out of bed, turning on the computer and searching for that number right now, but know that as soon as I do the dogs will curl up and go to sleep.

12:45 am - I wonder if Daisy, the old lady that lives on the other side of my house has already called the cops.

12:46 am - I really, really hope Daisy has already called the cops.

12:49 am - I'm a little worried. Why exactly are the dogs barking? Pam's not home. There aren't coyotes in the neighborhood anymore - the proliferation of cats and rabbits attest to that. Are said rabbits decimating my garden? Are there squatters in Pam's garage? Is there an intruder working under the radar, relying on the distraction that incessant barking creates? I'm a little more worried - should I get up and close the balcony window? But what if he's standing out there waiting for me to get up and look out the window?

12:53 am - I can't believe I let those dogs arouse paranoia.

12:55 am - Like popcorn ready to be taken out of the microwave, the dogs' barking slows down.

1:03 am - Sweet doggie silence

1:05 am - I'm startled awake by a strange humming sound. I turn off the sound machine and hear a helicopter approaching. So do the dogs. Barking resumes.

1:08 am - The helicopter is gone, but the dogs keep barking.

1:12 am - The helicopter comes back. My patience goes out the window. I'm so mad and so tired I consider screaming serious obscenities out the window - both at the dogs and the helicopter. But then I'm the only one who would sound like a raving lunatic. And I would have to get out of bed. Argh! The futility of it all!

Eventually the dogs stopped barking, the helicopter flew away, and I went to sleep. I just don't remember when. It was a long night.